My dad had a really rough day so I tried to ease his pain be rewarding “you tried” stars throughout the day. 

To begin, he was unable to attend his strongly anticipated weekly fishing trip. So I awarded him with one star. 

Whilst in the kitchen fishing for lunch, a yellow jacket landed on his face.  

Instead of taking a few more seconds to hunt for a fly swatter he grabbed the broom to kill the yellow jacket. Luckily, he pinned it up to the window; a few seconds later I heard glass shattering. He was awarded two stars…

After about ten “motherf*cker”s, he exited the house and left me to the cleaning of the broken window. After a few minutes of cooling his steam he returned to the kitchen and tried to pull the blind down to cover the, now, cardboard window. To his chagrin, the entire blinds fell.

He decided to do some yard work in the backyard to avoid any potential problematic situations again. After nearly 7 minutes he returned to the house upset about stepping in “the mushiest dog shit” he’s ever felt. 

After about 20 minutes of sitting completely still in the corner of the room he did some work on the computer. A few hours later I told him about my previous encounter with most likely the same yellow jacket I had that very morning. Eventually I deduced that if I had killed it sooner his whole day could have been better. He looked at me for a few seconds and then proceeded to violently threw his keys at me. He missed and nearly shattered a window to his own bedroom door. 

Stupidly, I allowed him to drive into the ghetto alone and pick up our dinner. A few hours later he finally returned and we began to nom. He then told me about how he was almost hit because a woman had run a red light.

 I tried to brighten the situation by explaining that it could have been worse. He made no comment. He resumed eating and looked up said, ” my chicken is extremely dry; is yours?” I responded with a smiling “no” he looked back down at his food and exclaimed ”damn it!”

He walked outside to go drive to the store for something he probably forgot but after a few seconds came back in explaining how the tea jug spilled all over the back seat of his car. 

My mother was completely oblivious to his day’s encounters so she put him in charge on starting the bon fire for her party. He didn’t burn anything substantially important but he decided that a log needed to be flipped. I was trying to flip said log but my dad told me my way was too dangerous so he yanked the poking stick out of my hands unable to hear my warning calls which would have clearly indicated to him that it was in fact on fire. He nearly lit my mother and her friend on fire before I took it out of his hands.

I then needed to officially award these stars so I hung them up on the ceiling above his work station.

He was not impressed. 

Better luck next time, Dad.

Sincerely,